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ESCHATOLOGY

by ELBE

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1.
I've come so far I've grown so weary I've lost my purpose Desired so deeply The life has withdrawn Replaced by rocks, my heart became one of them There is no reason To continue walking Yet nothing else is left So I must keep pushing I shed the pain Same as I have shed every burden Until resolve is all that's left of me This terminal summit is the epitaph of hope A barren testimony of foolish erand Nothing to be found here Still I push through the pain So I may be redeemed by suffering By the only thing I am capable to feel, The only thing reminding me that I am still living. I've come so far I've grown so weary I've lost my purpose Desired so deeply I shed the pain As I have shed every burden Until resolve is all that's left of me
2.
LOOKING BACK 06:04
I allow myself to stop for a while To take a look back l just one last time Suddenly I'm left to wonder what is it that I've become I haven't seen it coming so soon My skin got thick I doused my fire To face another day to get over another loss I‘ve lost more than there is to find Oh it's alright It is all fine I wish I'd burn bright as I used to For all the colours, all the flavours Instead I burn another day The right man in the right place always at the wrong time I raised the walls to take it all nothing gets through, Even I can‘t get out All I'm left with are tears of rage I tell myself Here you go that's life for you Oh it's alright It is all fine I wish the headache is over I feel like an empty bottle I am wounded as every other What a sad world to call home svět I‘ve lived a life long enough to learn all about pain One short enough in love to know I wasted both All I ever wished for was… Oh nevermind It is all fine
3.
Once again I‘ve lost my faith in happier endings Time again the tunnel vision leads to aching All around me I feel like all is dying It‘s been me each time, a flaw in character design Every friendship lost to circumstances is expression of my own negligence It‘s just so tempting to drown in regrets to give up trying overwhelmed by sadness per ardua ad astra! per ardua ad astra! As every nightmare comes with an awakening Each struggle‘s proven temporary Who needs happy endings I‘ll take the of peace of deep sleep All it takes is to follow the north star until we get there
4.
It feels like ages Since I came here To seach for answers Why am I like this What’s my purpose Why should I go on How can I leave my mark on on this world should I even? There is mercy in snow white darkness intimacy in freezing Through the silence snow is chiming my doubts echoe I hoped for solace in solitude of forests I sought to silence the calling within me the innate flaw of a human heart I hoped to find a world free of pain I came to these mountains to learn their wisdom I asked the trees how far can they see I asked the rocks how old they feel I asked the herds how safe they are I am no wiser I’ve got no advice I have no answers I just stopped asking I tried to learn to forget on purpose to find I out I can only when I resist
5.
One day in autumn The winds changed to tender breeze I walk ankle deep in leaves And through my memories I listen to the beating of my heart Fueled by regret and grief I look to the valleys bellow Hidden under blankets of fog Such silence full of feeling Towards those hidden in the fog Distant and unconnected Yet still deep inside my soul As night sets the dark Crowds of lost ones join my walk We are walking hand in hand Towards spectre in the fog Her shape starts to show I‘m a moth to her inner glow The most cherished memory of all One day in autumn The winds changed to tender breeze I walk ankle deep in leaves And through my memories I listen to the beating of my heart Fueled by regret and grief I look to the valleys bellow Hidden under blankets of fog
6.
Ominous clouds congregate as I wade through deep snow. The winds rise along with my fearful suspicions A sinister premonition delivered by distant thundering I grow aware my resolve is going to be tested The omnipresent shadow lurking in my mind Is growing ever stronger Gusts of wind carrying thunder Dim flashes of lightning in thundersnow blindness; I hear him! In midst of the storm I kneel I pray to overcome The divine rage of nature the malice of the Lurker. I’m the unrivaled ruler Your fears incarnate The blizzard emperor The maker of your fate Born out of your doubts Inescapably you As the storm grows weaker I tremble in fear I wade on in the snow on pilgrimage through my soul
7.
JIZVY 05:15
Bloudí nocí zamazaná blátem s kocovinou po převratech, Zase jednou znovu pro ideál krás vykřičela si hlas Noc rozpíjí světla lamp Najednou jsou z nich hvězdy Jaké stvoří jen slzy Je daleko jen na nataženou ruku Jen jeden krok navíc mi chybí Ale poznám, když dojdu na konec cesty Z Pyrrhova vítězství zůstanou jí vrásky smíchu, v nich sražená krev obětí padlých pro její pýchu. Když úsměv se vstřebá, bude pořád bloudit nocí, o trochu silnější, zraněná a uvržena do bezmoci. Hlavou napřed pro tisíc krás Její tváří je bolest v nás Trýznivě blízko, nepřekonatelně daleko. Životní ironie, ze které jsem naměkko. Jsi daleko jen na nataženou ruku Jsi fantomová bolest a roky stesku Všechno zmizí, jizvy zůstanou Navždy z hloubek ozvěnou
8.
THE AFTER 07:15
I drag on my corporeal shell, an offering to the carrion birds circling above me lured by my countless wounds, a company in a funeral march The silence up here is sacred and although I run out of life, I stand taller than ever Whatever comes through me the last I will become till the end of times To redeem myself or to stay in pain I love is the last earthly choice I am yet to make Not a choice for me really to hell with every paradise the pain I made friends with shall be my companion If I am to become the last thought crossing my mind as unfullfilled and painful as it ever was, I chose to become love Head first into the after My essence flows from the wounds inflicted by feeding vultures Free from the terrestrial bounds I am a principle in the purest of forms I am what I always felt I am what I felt the last For the last thought crossing my mind I give up Annata Oh bardo hell embrace me Although misplaced, I‘ll always be love
9.
SLUMBER 08:24

credits

released November 2, 2020

Music composed by Standa Jelínek and Martin Spacosh Peřina
Lyrics written by Jan Insomnic, consulted with and edited by Wohma
Recorded at Spacosh Studio, Black Chamber Studio and Svárov Studio
Mixed by Martin Spacosh Peřina
Mastered by Amak Golden
Artwork and layout by Petr Phob Štefek
Guest vocals (The After) – Tereza Malášek Nesvatbová

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